Bad News

Yesterday at about one thirty in the afternoon my Uncle Allen called my family and I from Scotland telling us that my grandfather has passed away. I suppose it's the way things are and always will be, but we all thought that Ol' Dan would live forever. I always pictured him sitting in the front row at my wedding, holding my children, telling them corny jokes and teaching them everything bout World War II, and the Rangers.

I think the things about him I will remember the most are his harmonica and his farm hat. There is no one in the world like him and the family is going to be a lot quieter with him gone, and I hate that. My only regret was that I couldn't say goodbye, the best I could have done was call him and say "I love you" My Uncle Allen said he smiled, so somewhere past the Alzheimer's that took his memories of his family, he must have remembered me. Everyone said that Connor and I were his favorite grandchildren, probably because of our California accents and bleach blonde hair. I just wish I was around more, and even though the bond between my grandfather and I was so strong, I can't help but feel guilty of my absence.

When I saw him this summer while I was on my trip to Scotland by myself I lay in his bed with him as we watched the Rangers defeat the Celtics. That's the last time I saw him, I'll always remember the image of him crying as I walked in the front door the first time that summer, that and the look on his face when I got on the plain to go back to California. Somehow I think he knew that that would be the last time I saw him.

I saw my father cry for the first time yesterday, My mother was our rock, but I don't think it truly phased Connor, for he showed no true sign of remorse. But I don't blame him, the last time he saw Ol' Dan was two years ago. Connor was always closer to my Grandmother. But I know Connor will miss Grandpa. The first song I heard after he passes away was "Dream On" by Aerosmith. I don't think my father and I will ever forget that song.

We're getting on a plain for Scotland at four in the morning tomorrow, and my grandfathers' funeral is on Thursday. I'm expecting this week to be that hardest of my life, I'm only glad that I get to spent it in the company of my family, after all, that's how Ol' Dan would have wanted his life to be celebrated...

Drama, Drama, Drama

Today was a very dramatic day. The day started off pretty normal, but everything started to fall apart around lunch. To start off, J.J. told me that while she was in English she was talking to some of the sophomore guys (including Erik Dugoni, which is only important because Maddy likes him) and they said that the three hottest freshman girls are me, Suzie, and Kara. This is really cool but last night Maddy almost had a mental breakdown because she thought that Erik didn't think she was hot. So the problem her is if Maddy ever finds out that Erik said that I'm so screwed.

Anyway at afternoon Flex Vivian broke up with Grant (which was probably my fault because she was always complaining about no being single so I told her to dump his ass as a joke but I guess she took it seriously) Anyway as if one relationship problem wasn't enough, Brenda is thinking of breaking up with Landon. Only because Alex J. (who we all pretty much hate now) was being such a slut and throwing herself all over Landon and practically forcing him to ditch Brenda, even though Landon was being a jerk it was mostly her fault. So I was talking to Brenda a little earlier and I persuaded her not to break up with him (I've done enough damage for one day when it comes to romance) And I assured her that on the off chance Landon does go for Alex, he's in no way good enough for her. I also told her that boys come and go but your girls are forever, except for Alex J. of course.

When I got home and completed all of my homework I decided that I was going to ask Marcus to Turnabout. I was feeling very confident until I started texting Kati, who said she was going to ask him. It's not like they like each other or anything, there just good friends. It just kind of sucks because she likes this other guy, Alex Wild, and she refuses to ask him because he's a sophomore. Even though they are practically dating anyway. Oh well I'm sure we'll freak at the dance and that's all I really want anyway. And this way I get to freak on any guy I want to without feeling guilty (even though he's the only guy I want to dance with)

Worried

Today I woke up to my parents fighting about how my mom talked to me yesterday morning. I don't really care because I know she doesn't mean it, or do it on purpose. My dad told my mom that she was wrong for treating me like that, but she told me that she's just lonely, and unhappy with her life here. I guess that's why she's pushing so hard for us to move. She thinks that once she starts her new job and when we move to the new house with the city nearby and more importantly, a town, nearby, she'll be happy and stop taking out her misery on my dad and I. I'm just glad that Connor doesn't know anything about this, because I honestly don't think he can handle all of this stress. Because after all, my dad and I are used to it...

First Day Blues

Well it's my first day back at Justin-Siena High School. I don't know why I'm surprised but I have about two hours of homework tonight, and that's only in World History and Biology. So of course I'm excited for the rest of the Semester ... not. I have a Religion project, a Biology project, and an Ed Skills assignment. Could somebody please just kill me?

Today was the first day of Ed Skills and it was like the first day all over again, thank god that my girls are in that class with me. Sierra, Michelle, Kara, and Cara. I don't know what I would do without them. The teacher wanted to meet the class so she gave us sticky notes and made us answer the statements "I learned...", "I wish I knew...", "I didn't know...". Or something like that. Anyway, me and Kara answered each question with something to do with falling in love with Austin Connelly (which would never happen) The teacher was thoroughly confused and it was perfect because it was anonymous so there was no way we could get into any trouble. The entire experience was just beautiful.

Anyway when I got home I immediately went onto skype and me and my girls started talking about turnabout. I decided that I might ask Marcus, not because I like him, but because he's really cool and he's tall enough so that I could wear heals. Anyway when I got home I realized that I like Marcus. Crap. But he's so sweet, when I was walking to Biology he comes up to me and links his arm with mine and he started asking me about my break. Then he said if he dosn't sit next to me (because his desk was next to mine all last semester) he's going to be really sad, and when our desks were apart he comes up to me and he was like "I'm going to kill Mr. Landry." And he kept whispering funny jokes making fun of Mr. Landry and his creepy looks, I was hysterical. And during break I was skyping him and he's like, I know i give you a lot of shit, but you're one of my favorite girls. And I thought that was really sweet, and we were friends before but we were never really that close. I don't know I think this crush will pass in a few days but as for Turnabout, I don't know if I'm going to ask him or not...

The End

I am very sad to say that Winter Break is officially over as of tomorrow morning at eight o clock, when the bell will ring and we must shuffle along to our first class. The second quarter will begin and there will be six long months of school until the sweet relief of Summer vacation. Really nothing exciting is happening this week, except we get our grades tomorrow and I don't think my 3.71 grade point average is going to impress my parents. The Turnabout dance is in about a month and it may seem like I have plenty of time to figure out a date, but once you see the freshman guys at my school you'll realize that it is totally acceptable for me to procrastinate me asking a guy to a stupid Turnabout dance. I'm not at all excited for school tomorrow but I suppose I should get an early night tonight so I don't look like total crap tomorrow.

Blast From The Past

Well, today I woke up at noon because I was skyping with Sammy and Susannah all night. I don't even know what we talk about anymore, I suppose there is an infinite amount of conversation starters programmed into out brains; it's the only way to explain how we never seem to know anyone well enough. Anyway, my parents went out to lunch and they didn't get back until five in the afternoon. So obviously I missed the four o clock Girl's JV Basketball game that Michelle was playing in, I'm a little sad because this would have been the first time I saw Susannah and Hannah since the beginning of Winter Break. After a little while I decided to go on Facebook and I discovered that my "Friend of the Day' is Zach Brencsons (my ex-boyfriend from seventh grade when I still lived in Singapore) And then my old friend Brian Blume was like, oh that's perfect because it's Zach's birthday; so of course I wished him a happy birthday on his profile and then I was catching up with both of them. It's weird how a single conversation can make u realize how much you miss your old life. Talking to them made me remember all the soda fights, embarrassing moments, inside jokes, school fairs, dancing in the rain, crushes, break ups, make ups, broken hearts, school dances, random parties, and the many laughs I have shared with my friends in Singapore. Sometimes I wish I never left, but I guess that's what makes us stronger. And it's not like I was the only one, both Brian and Zach live in the U.S.A. now, Zach in New Jersey and Brian in Louisiana, and I live in California obviously. Zach and I have settles in pretty well, but Brian isn't fitting in so well. I don't blame him, moving is so hard. Diving into a place where you don't know a single person, one good thing about it is that you can be whoever you want to be. I suppose that's why I don't' know who I am yet ... I've been way too many different people. But that's OK, I've got plenty of time to figure it out.

2010!

2010 baby!!! You better hope it's going to be better than 2009. And to all the souls of 09 ... You will be missed!