Delayed Reaction

12.29.09

Today was a pretty average day, I slept until noon as usual, but soon after I awoke my dad and I went up to Tiburon and looked at a lot where we could build our potential house. The view was breathtaking, we were right on the bay next to Blackie's Pasture (I used to live around the same area when i was two or three years old) The view consisted of San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge, and the ferry terminal was a ten minute walk from the lot. The only thing wrong is the lot itself, it's in a hideous location, way too cramped, and the house next door looks like the house that Freddy Krouger would live in. So in short, I'm not very happy.

So around six o clock, when I recovered from my mental breakdown over the Tiburon house, I went to Napa Valley High School and met Sierra and Vivian and we watched the Freshman Basketball game. Of course Vivian is dating Grant so she was his cheerleader, and Sierra loves everyone, I was mostly cheering for Max Wilkinson (because he's easily the best on the team and should be on JV) and Landon (because he kind of sucks) Regardless the game was pretty mellow until the last three minutes when it was super intense, unfortunately we lost but I was still very proud of my boys. After the game we went to Sierra's house and met Michelle there. After that we went to the movies with Michelle, Sierra, and Vivian. We were about half of an hour early for the movie (which was "Alvin & The Chipmunks : The Squeekwal, which I'm watching for the second time) so we decided to walk over to Kohl's were we took rather provocative pictures with the display mannequins. After that we walked back to the movie theater and we were still ten minutes early, so we went to the arcade where we played "Dance, Dance Revolution" and "Guitar Hero" because that's just how cool we are. When we got in the move Sierra and I were a little bored because we have already seen this movie, so we decided to stand up and dance to every song in the movie (we were sitting in the back so it wasn't that weird) Finally the movie finished and we were picked up by Vivian's dad.

After the movie we went to Vivian's house, where we of course we couldn't sleep. So we went downstairs and watched "The Hangover" (for the eighth time by the way) and made three whole boxes of macaroni and cheese. When we were watching the movie Vivian's boyfriend, Grant, started texting her so we decided to mess with him. After a while they started sexting and it wasn't long before things got way too out of hand so we told Grant that Vivian had to go to bed. It was so weird to see this side of him, because I always saw him as so innocent and not like that at all. Oh well, it was very entertaining; but when five o clock a.m. came around we decided it was time for us to go to bed...

12.30.09

Today was the day of my Pre-New Years Eve Party...

Of course we woke up at Vivian's house, but Michelle and Sierra had to leave so just me and Vivian went to my house to set up for the party. Gradually people started showing up, so we decided to play snooker until more people got there. When we went up to the guesthouse everyone was there ... Michelle, Maddy, Vivian, Landon, Lily, Kemble, Zane, Vendy, Emilie, Amanda, Mark, Sammy, and, Daniel. We danced, ate, chilled. My pool was heated so some of us swam while others played snooker again.

When one thirty a.m. came around the girls and guys had to split up. The guys slept in the guesthouse while the girls slept in the main house. At about four in the morning me and Vivian snuck outside and up to the guest house where we stayed for about half of an hour. While we were there we just chilled. Landon and Zane were lying down in the bed so Vivian jumped in between Zane and Landon and I lied down next to Landon. After a little while we went down to my house. Then at six thirty the guys called me and those idiots locked themselves out of the guest house. I of course couldn't find the key so Zane and Kemble had to hoist Sammy up on the second story balcony in order to open the front door. I just stayed up there and after a few minutes Vivian came up. We were both really tired to we just cuddled up with Landon again. After about two hours my mom walked in when Landon was rolling Vivian over the bed. Thank God I was standing up at this point and not lying down next to Landon like I was doing just fifteen seconds before she walked in. My mom was pissed to say the least so me and Vivian obviously had to leave.

Throughout the day I was gutted. The combination of the guilt from betraying my parents trust and having not slept one second the previous night, I literally made myself ill. Gradually everyone left and by noon the party was officially over. My mom and I talked and she told me that she wasn't mad, but my punishment would be spending New Years' Eve with my family and some of their friends, even though my little brother got to sleepover at his friends house. Oh well, it could have been so much worse...

12.31.09

When i woke up I realized that my parents weren't mad at me at all. Everyone had left and all was well in the Love house again. I felt a little sick, actually it was more like a massive sugar hangover, which had a migraine, cramps, and my entire body shaking. But don't worry it was totally worth it.

I had to get ready at around five thirty in the afternoon, because the Dietch family was coming at about ten past seven. When they got here it was awkward to say the least, they were Swedish, and even though they could speak English, they flat out refused to. And I was exhausted from last night so I was not in a good mood. 2010 came and I love my family, but next year I am definitely spending next New Years' Eve with my friends...

F.U.V.

I don't even know where to begin...

I guess it all started with Katie inviting me and Sierra to go to the movies last night, we all met up at Napa Cinadome at 7:00 to watch the 7:15 showing of "Alvin and The Chipmunks : The Squeekual." Surprisingly the movie was not that bad, but of course we made everything the animated characters did into something perverted. About halfway through the movie a girl who was sitting in front of us turns around and says "Can you please shut the fuck up you guys have been talking the entire movie." (Which was total bull because they were making the same crude comments only about ten times louder) Anyway we decided to talk a little softer but we did every annoying thing we could have possibly done, like chewing obnoxiously, kicking the back of their chairs, and spewing water and soda out of our mouths on 'accident' whenever a funny part was on. After we had enough fun destroying their experience at the movies, we decided which 'chippettes' we were and which Chipmunks we love. I was Brittany but my boyfriend was Theodore, Sierra was Eleanor but she was dating Alvin, Katie was Ganette and was with Simon (which makes the most sense really) After the movie Sierra's mom picked us up and drove us to Michelle's house...

When we got to Michelle's house we chilled in her room for a few hours, listening to music, dancing, and making crude and somewhat inappropriate comments on every single one of our friends. By this point Maddy and Michelle were there too. When midnight came around we got a little bored so we decided to go for a walk. We knew that the curfew in Napa was 10:00pm, but the police barely roamed the street that we were walking on. When we were about ten minutes from Michelle's house we heard a car coming so we decided to run up a small slope that cushioned the road, we hid underneath low trees just in case they were police. Once a few cars passed we decided to sit and talk (mostly because I twisted my ankle when my friend Maddy grabbed my hand and i tripped) After a few minutes we heard another car o we hid again, but instead of the sound disappearing like the other car, we heard the engine rev and a few donuts. We thought that the car was gone but the exact same car came back, and it did a u-turn again. Then the car stopped right in front of where we were hiding, after a little while we heard a bottle smash and the car drove away. Instead of waiting for those weirdo car drivers to come back we ran for a good one hundred meters when we saw the car coming back. We ducked behind a row of evergreen trees when the car parked yet again. Sierra and Michelle swore they heard a gunshot (which I later knew was a hallucination due to the Belgian Beer we previously downed, although me and Katie finished most of it) but at the time I couldn't have been more scared. Sierra didn't help with her talk of hit and runs and gang rapes. When the car finally left we didn't think twice about sprinting back to Michelle's house. When we got settled we realized that the whole thing was hilarious, but the next time we go out we're creating an escape route.

After another hour or so, after we watched "Prom Night" and "Saw III," we decided that it was time to go TP Jessica's house (obviously Jessica is a total bitch and she deserved it 110%) we each stuffed three rolls of toilet paper down our pants or in our jackets and stuffed about twenty forks down our pockets. We dressed in all black and got or camera, and with our revised escape route permanently ingrained in our minds, we left to go TP. Jessica lives about fifteen minutes away from Michelle (if your walking, which we were) Although it's the middle of winter and freezing outside, the toilet paper and the adrenaline kept us all very warm. When we arrived at her house we were very excited to discover that Jessica has about twenty to thirty rows of vineyards, and not very attractive ones by the way. Of course this made TPing and forking her lawn very easy. By the end of our mission the entire vineyard was filled with toilet paper. And trust me, it is pretty much impossible to remove damp toilet paper (because of the dew that morning always brings) from vines. As we were walking back to Michelle's house we created a group name for me, Katie, Sierra, Maddy, and Michelle, FUV, or 'Fuck Up Vineyards'

Once our shenanigans were officially complete, we all agreed that we were exhausted so we went to sleep (this was around five in the morning) When we woke up we decided to *67 Jessica and tell her in the creepiest voice we could muster "look outside." She was furious to say the least but there is no way she can pin it on us, after all, we were at Sierra's house all night.

The next morning we Michelle had basketball practice and Katie had a dentist appointment so Maddy, Sierra, and I decided to hang out at Maddy's house. I decided to call my dad and ask him to pick me up. He came around 1:30, we dropped Sierra off at her house and then we headed home. I love hanging out with my girls, but sometimes it's nice to just chill at home, take a bubble bath, and stuff your face with your moms home-made chicken and broccoli casserole (I know it sounds disgusting but it's the best thing in the world to me)

Sense Of The Inevitable

Well, it's pretty official that we are moving. Considering my parents are looking at properties in Tiburon right now. As much as I would like to bitch and moan about moving for the thirteenth (I'm not even over exaggerating, that number is most likely lower than the actual number of times I have moved) time, but like all the other times I have moved, there is not one thing I can do to stop it. Just like a train wreck, the most I can do is sit back and simply let it happen.

Boxing Day

Yet another Christmas has come and gone and the realization that this may be one of the few holidays I have left in this house. We started building this house when I was only eight years old. Three years later we moved to Singapore where I attended the Singapore American School, and lived in an ultra-modern house for four years, we then moved back to Sonoma where I attended my old middle school, The Presentation School. The house still wasn't completed by this point. On year later and I am a freshman at Justin-Siena High School in Napa; and surprisingly enough, the house is still not completed, but we are getting very close.

Just last month my parents told me and my little brother that we may be moving to Tiburon. The main reason we are moving is because the commute to San Francisco my father has to make every morning is starting to wear on him. Anyway, today my dad showed me the most amazing house, it's right on the Bay and you can literally walk to the ferry that takes you into the city. It looks exactly like the house we owned in Singapore (which is pretty much my dream home) Everything is perfect right? Well, as I was just getting excited about moving ... again ... I realized that I have never stayed in a house, in my entire life, for more than two years. And although I haven't technically lived here for long, but I have come back to this house every year during summer vacation. This house is the most stable thing in my life and now even that is being ripped from my life.

I don't think I can imagine coming home from school to another house, a cold shell with no memories to fill it. Not like this house. I had my tenth birthday by the pool, I ran along the vineyards playing hide and seek with my little brother. My entire childhood revolves around this house. I suppose this is the closest thing I have to a home, and they are asking me to desert it. I guess the only reason I am willing to move is a.) for my father, the stress is really starting to get to him; and b.) I'm going away to University in a few years, and it's not like I'll be in California. In truth, I will only see this house for another two or three years and then I will only have to cope with it on holidays.

If moving wasn't bad enough, I won't be able to see my friends every day. And it sucks because I have the best friends in the entire world.

Merry Christmas

This Christmas has been one of the best yet. Of course my little brother Connor still believes in Santa Claus, so my dad put his boot in the chimney sut and walked on the carpet. Of course the cookies and carrots were eaten and the milk was finished. He was so excited, it made me wish that I was still so oblivious to how the world really is. Anyway, I don't really want to write about getting older or how I'm only going to have a few more Christmas's when my brother still believes in Santa; all I want to do is talk about the presents I got (yes, I am aware I'm spoiled rotten :D)

• Victoria Secret : Brown Moccasins, Pink plaid flannel pajamas, grey and white tank top, black v-neck tee shirt, light wash flare denims, three bras (2x pink leopard, 1z yellow lace), five lace thongs, rhinestone heart tank top, 2x black sweat pants, lip gloss.
• $70 Sephora gift card.
• Forever 21 : Sparkly black mini dress, navy blue tie tee shirt, rhinestone ball clutch, black/white zebra flats, black high-waisted bubble skirt.
• Brown Chinese laundry ankle booties.
• Burt's Bee's nail kit.
• Orange Hollister Sweater.
• Aeropostale : 2x collared shirts, 2x sweaters.
• Books : Twilight Saga (damnit), Evermore (you can expect a review), The Van Alan Legacy ; A Blue Blood's novel (a shame I haven't read the first few books)
• $50 .... yaaaay

So it's obvious that this has been a very successfully Christmas.

My Photgraphy

X-Mas Eve

I don't really know why, but it seems to me that as you grow older, everything changes. And I mean everything. Christmas Eve used to be so exciting, my family would have a nice dinner and we would watch Christmas movies until we were all ready to go to sleep, anticipating the morning ahead. This evening I am obviously blogging, my brother is playing WOW and hasn't spoken for the past two hours, my father is watching the news, and my mother has disappeared somewhere, probably smoking. We have already had three arguments that led to someone storming out of the room. It's bad enough that I have to continue to change as I age, but the sad thing is that the one thing I could always count on is no more.

I just wish that I still got excited. Tonight will be the same as any other night, I probably won't have the butterflies I used to get, and I won't be kept up with anticipation. Of course I will be joyous and grateful of the effort my parents have put into keeping the mystery of Santa alive. We just put out the Christmas Tree cookies and milk for Santa, and the carrots for the reindeer, and my little brother Connor couldn't be more excited. I hate to say that I envy his innocence. I will forever loathe that cruel child who destroyed my idea of Santa eight years ago.

Although I would love to say that it was the destruction of Santa's identity that changed Christmas for me, but I know that what truly stopped the whimsical idea of Christmas was the inevitable fact that I have grown up.

Car Shopping

Today when I was in Napa with my family, we drove past a car dealership and decided to look at cars. I have always been in love with Jeep Wranglers, it's been the only car I've ever wanted. Anyway, when we were in the car dealership, I saw a car which was very similar to the Jeep, it's a Toyota FJ Cruiser. I know that most teenage girls would want a cute comfortable, but with a big four wheel drive I could drive up to Tahoe or to the beach with all of my friends and all of our stuff. The really cool thing is that you can jump into the car soaking wet, and the seats won't get ruined. That's due to the double stitching in the fabric or whatever. Even though the roof doesn't come of, the suicide doors are definitely one of the coolest features. Suicide doors are basically doors with opposite hinges, you can see it on the picture. I am so excited, this car is totally me, all I need to get it is all A's in school...Awesome.

A Very Dull Day

I woke up at noon today, probably due to the fact that I was skyping with Landon until three in the morning. Skype can be both a blessing and a curse I suppose. We were talking about how we are going to go paint balling sometime during the Winter break with Michelle, something we have wanted to do since last week maybe. Anyway, we are also making plans to TP this girl that we all hate. I don't really know how well that will work because Michelle and Landon are afraid of the dark, so really it will be me and Sammy who will have to be the brave ones. I still think it'll be worth it though because she is evil. I'll tell you more about it later, I'm expecting that it'll be epic.

Anyway, I went to lunch at Taylor's with my family. I don't know why but lunch today was oddly relaxing; it was nice to have time away from my friends and just hang out with my family. If you ever pass a Taylor's when you're driving down the street, I highly recommend having lunch their. I can honestly say that I have never had a better cheeseburger in my entire life, I hate to say this, but I think it may be better than In n Out.

When I got home I did some last minute Christmas wrapping, in case anyone cares, this is the list of presents I got for my family.

• Mom - Jewelry and fluffy slippers (because our tile floors are freezing)
• Dad - A dress shirt and a tie (because he has no sense of style)
• Connor (aka my brother) - an x-box game that's like Avatar and crap like that...

I still have no idea what I'm getting; it's weird because last year I just knew. I guess my parents are getting better at keeping secrets, although it's very apparent that my mother is struggling. I don't know how, but she always manages to spoil the surprise. Well we only have one more full day until Christmas, and it does take extreme talent to ruin a surprise in that short amount of time.

My Bucket List

Hey, I know it's really morbid, but I think that everyone should have there own bucket list. It's important to do everything you have ever wanted to do before you leave this earth. And if you finish off everything on your list, don't stop there, keep adding and you will continue to grow as a person. Live life to the fullest, after all, we only live once.

I started this list two years ago (that's why some of them are already checked off) but I promise to keep adding and fulfilling my dreams for as long as I live, and trust me, this won't be the last time you see this list.

1. Throw a huge rave and invite every one of my friends.
2. Swim with a dolphin. ✔
3. Skydive.
4. Have your portrait painted at the Eiffel Tower. ✔
5. Go skinny dipping at midnight in a public place.
6. Watch the launch of a space shuttle.
7. Spend a whole day eating junk-food without feeling guilty. ✔
8. Be an extra in a movie.
9. Learn how to roller blade.
10. Kiss passionately in the rain.
11. Brew your own beer.
12. Buy a round-world ticket and a rucksack, then run away.
13. Give my mother a dozen red roses and tell her I love her.
14. Send a message in a bottle.
15. Ride a camel into the dessert.
16. Plant a tree.
17. Learn not to say yes when you really mean no.
18. Write a fan letter to your hero/heroin.
19. Learn to ballroom dance properly.
20. Be the boss.
21. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally.
22. Sit on a jury.
23. Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia.
24. Write the novel you know you have inside you.
25. Go to Walden Pond and drift in a canoe.
26. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day.
27. Drink beer at Oktoberfest in Munich.
28. Be someone's mentor.
29. Shower in a waterfall.
30. Spend the night in a Haunted House.
31. TP someone you hate.
32. See a lunar eclipse. ✔
33. Spend New Year's in an exotic location. ✔
34. Ask someone you have only just met to go out on a date.
35. Make a complete and utter fool of yourself. ✔
36. Sleep under the stars.
37. Write your will.
38. Drive across America from coast to coast.
39. Go cage-diving in South Africa.
40. Visit every continent, including Antarctica.
41. Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in the world.
42. Go wild in Rio during Carnival.
43. Spend the whole day in bed. ✔
44. Forgive your parents.
45. Find a job you love.
46. Spend your birthday on a beach drinking Pina Coladas.
47. Overcome your greatest fear.
48. Raft through the Grand Canyon.
49. Grow a garden.
50. Go canoeing in New Zealand.
51. Scuba Dive off of Australia's Great Barrier Reef.
52. Accept yourself for who you are.
53. Drive a convertible with the top down and the music blaring.
54. Go up in a hot air balloon.
55. Attend a huge concert.
56. Kiss someone you just met.
57. Lose more money than you can afford in Vegas.
58. Create your own websight/blog. ✔
59. Let someone feed you grapes.
60. Go fishing and eat your catch.
61. Kiss the Blarney stone and develop the gift of gab.
62. Create your family tree.
63. Spend a half-day at a Concentration camp and never forget.
64. Run to the top of the Eiffel Tower. ✔
65. Make a hole-in-one.
66. Ski a double-black diamond run.
67. Learn how to bar tend.
68. Run in a marathon.
69. Spend the whole day naked.
70. Listen to the Dalai Lama speak.
71. Walk to the crater of a volcano.
72. Do a bunji jump.
73. Draw on a wall. ✔
74. Set off a fire extinguisher.
75. Stage Dive.
76. Que for something for at least 24 hours.
77. Fly First Class. ✔
78. Ride a mechanical bull.
79. Climb a bit of Mt. Everest.
80. Visit New York, New York and visit the Statue of Liberty. ✔
81. Go on a hellicopter ride.
82. Visit Machu Picchu.
83. Make someone cry of happiness.
84. Participate in a protest.
85. Visit Area 51.
86. Go zorbing.
87. Have a coffee on the sidewalk of Milan.
88. Try fencing.
89. Spend a day in Disneyland.
90. Learn how to say "hello" in 25 languages.
91. Go paragliding. ✔
92. Attend Mardis Gras in New Orleans.
93. Learn how to play the guitar.
94. Witness the Northern Lights.
95. Walk through The Louvre. ✔
96. Visit The Seven Wonders of the World.
97. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. ✔
98. Learn how to sail.
99. Go scuba diving in a shipwreck.
100. Try to fly a plain.

People who live to 100 must give up the things that made them want to live to 100...

Teenage Gypsy

Have you ever been terrified of something, but know that if you show a single person your fear, it'll make it that much worse? I just don't understand why my parents want us to move ... again. I finally got settled here in Sonoma, in all honesty I hate this tiny little town, it's like a prison; but I've made friends at Justin-Siena, it's my home. And once again they want to tear it all up and force me into another awkward first day and all of the tiny battles I must face. Like that first lunch, searching for a familiar face in a sea of strangers, all the while knowing that you will find absolutely no one. Not a single person that can tie you to your old life, a new beginning. I just wish they would stop calling it "an adventure" or "an opportunity for a better life," I like the life I have. I was finally content with living in America again. After living in Singapore for the past four years, I never imagined feeling at home in such a different society, and somehow I found a family here. I know its cliche, but I feel that the people I have met in High School are my family, well, my girls have become my official sisters, I know that they will always we there for me. And my boys, I can't imagine going to school and not seeing their random acts of immaturity every day. It's ridiculous, us moving around so much; I feel like a teenage gypsy. People were meant to have a stable home, and have the people they love stay with them. I simply wish that this once, we could stay somewhere for more than a couple of years, but I suppose that's too much to ask for in the eyes of my parents.

The First of Many....

Yesterday night I went to see "The Blind Side" with a bunch of my girls. The movie was great, but the fact that it was a true story was what made it beautiful. If a family could do something so drastic like changing a young man's life; why can't one person do something so small that would make someones day just a little brighter? Right now I don't really know what kind of a person I am, I may not be christian, but I don't think that my lack of faith makes me bad. Everyone can be good in someones eyes, to some I must be good, and to others I may be bad; I just hope that the people who are important to me know how much I care about them.

After the movie Amanda and I went back to Michelle's house after dropping odd Sierra and Maddy. When we got there we did what we normally did, talked on Skype, Facebook stalked some people, and went into beast mode (basically when we eat everything in sight) in the kitchen. After a little while we settled back in Michelle's room and started talking about everything under the sun. We slowly fell asleep with the comfort of knowing that we'd do it all again in the morning. Which, of course, we did. We feasted on bagels and Eggo Waffles, loathing the near future when Eggo will be no more. When my dad came to pick me up I said my goodbyes and greeted my father. Not surprisingly he immediately dove into a monologue about being happy, and how it's the most important thing in the world. The thing that I hate about this speech is the ending sentence, "What can I do to make you happy?" It sounds sweet but the underlying question is that he thinks he needs to do something to make me happy. The only thing I wish he would do is be around a little more. My dad's job forces him to travel out of the country 60% of the time, and I know he does it for me and my brother, I just wish when I woke up, that both my mom and dad would greet me good morning. But I suppose there are worse things that could happen.

When I got home I decided to take this rare opportunity to just relax. Since the beginning of Winter Break I have slept over and attended all night parties every night, and been going to the movies and hanging out with friends in the days in between. As soon as I stepped in the door I had an hour long bubble bath and put on Moulin Rouge (my favorite movie) I received a text from my friend Landon, stating that a guy I just really got to know the day before had a thing for me. The truth is he's not completely un-datable, but I'm still a little hung over on a sophomore that I've been texting for a while now. But I know that a freshman and a sophomore together is never going to happen. So I really have to think about this, who really know what the future holds, but as for right now, nothing is going to happen. But there's nothing wrong with that, I don't understand these girls who always have to have a boyfriend. I'm comfortable with being a relentless flirt <3>

Besides kindly trying to hook me up with his friends, Landon has become one of my really good guy friends. Just a few minutes ago he sent me a text saying "well your really cool, and i don't mean to sound gay or weird, but your one of my favorite friends that's a girl." That definitely made my day. It;s the small things that people do that makes them special, and the people you meet in High School are your friends forever; I'm just glad that my friends now are amazing.