X-Mas Eve

I don't really know why, but it seems to me that as you grow older, everything changes. And I mean everything. Christmas Eve used to be so exciting, my family would have a nice dinner and we would watch Christmas movies until we were all ready to go to sleep, anticipating the morning ahead. This evening I am obviously blogging, my brother is playing WOW and hasn't spoken for the past two hours, my father is watching the news, and my mother has disappeared somewhere, probably smoking. We have already had three arguments that led to someone storming out of the room. It's bad enough that I have to continue to change as I age, but the sad thing is that the one thing I could always count on is no more.

I just wish that I still got excited. Tonight will be the same as any other night, I probably won't have the butterflies I used to get, and I won't be kept up with anticipation. Of course I will be joyous and grateful of the effort my parents have put into keeping the mystery of Santa alive. We just put out the Christmas Tree cookies and milk for Santa, and the carrots for the reindeer, and my little brother Connor couldn't be more excited. I hate to say that I envy his innocence. I will forever loathe that cruel child who destroyed my idea of Santa eight years ago.

Although I would love to say that it was the destruction of Santa's identity that changed Christmas for me, but I know that what truly stopped the whimsical idea of Christmas was the inevitable fact that I have grown up.